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Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Halloween has gone and past. Not more than 20 kiddies came to our house. They didn't even get to see my devil suit. Dad had to put me away since he didn't want me to scare them all away. We had so much candy left and I couldn't have any either since Dad and Mom said it would kill me. Halloween sucked.
Our House Updates
Well, let's see, I vomitted on the carpet this month. Another case of food indescretion. Nice big stain in the middle of the carpet. Mom got mad of course because she had to clean it. Her piercing voice was enough to make me bow my head in shame. It's not my fault, there was food on the ground, so I ate it. It's like when you see money on the ground, you take it right? Dad would disagree. Then another strange thing happened, Dad got locked out of the back door because the lock wouldn't turn anymore. None of the keys would turn. But here's the kicker, our less than 1 yr old furnace starting leaking water inside causing the inside to rust. Water flowed onto the basement floor and I would have to say, the water didn't taste too good. Yuck!
Mom got me a Christmas hat to wear. I look like a big elf with it on. Dad put up our tree and our stocking. I have one too! I hope it snows soon so I can eat yellow snow again. Mmmmm...tasty. This year X'mas is at Grandpa Parcon's house. I can't wait but then Dad also told me Mom will be going away for awhile again. Here we go again. I hope it's the last time Mom.
That's all for now, it's dinner time!
Oh, I almost forgot! I learned a new trick! Check it out and comment!
Brix learns a new trick!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
"What da f*ck! Who da f*ck! You mutha piece of f*ck! How da f*ck...why da f*ck..."
After hearing Dad, I didn't dare ask him what the word f*ck meant. Up to this day I still don't get what it means.
It was late Thursday night, around 9:30, when we went to visit the Parcon pack. Dad parked the car in front their house, on the side of the street, in front of the driveway. The Parcon driveway was full that night. We had only stayed for an hour when we returned to the car. Dad and I walked together. When he opened the door to let me jump in, I heard him cursing like their was no tomorrow. Mom was still inside the house.
"Dad what happened? Ok just cool your briefs Dad." I tried to calm him down but was scared at the same time. By now, Mom had come out.
"OHHH sh*t!" Mom yelled. That's another word I don't know. Mom ran back into the house to call the others to see. Grandpa Parcon, Grandma Parcon and brother Parcon came to look. Grandpa Parcon spoke first.
"I know it's number 20 (the house across the street). Those guys. Call the police." Then brother Parcon began to speak.
"They reversed their car right into the bumper and didn't even turn their wheel. What idiots!."
Dad knelt down to look at the damage. The rear side bumper was cracked and scratched with horizontal marks. We could barely make out the paint colour from the car that hit us. The quarter panel was bent inwards about 2 inches. The tail light was also cracked. The damage, they estimated, to be upwards of $2000.
The next day Dad reported the accident to the collision center and also confronted the neighbours across the street.
"Uh..no. We don't have any damage to our cars. Here, have a look. We don't know anything about the accident.." Figures. WIth no luck, the police report classified it as a fail to remain. A couple days later brother Parcon said he saw the car that hit us. The car had gone missing a few days and finally returned, with a new paint job to their bumper. Dad checked it out, but had no hard evidence to link them to the crime scene. (too much CSI)
So off to the body shop the Civic went and in came the rented car. Dad wasn't happy again. The rental car was a Dodge Caliber.
"At least give me something comparable." Dad kept his comments to himself and also kept an open mind. To be honest, I liked the Caliber. It was more roomy than the CIvic and I could look out the back window better.
Dad's luck ran out again when the next day he noticed the windshield had a small crack in the corner. It must have been a rock that had hit the windshield.
"What da f*ck! Who da f*ck! You mutha piece of f*ck! How da f*ck...why da f*ck..." Here we god again.
"They say it comes in threes." That's what Dad was told when he went to Speedy Glass to get it fixed.
"Let's just hope the third isn't a speeding ticket." Dad replied.
So it's been over a week and Dad is finally just cheering up a little. The bodyshop called him to let him know the car was ready. I'll be sending you good vibes Dad. Let's hope what goes around come around to the bastard that hit us!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Instead of having a b-day party, Dad and Mom decided to treat me to an event. They said it was a surprise so I had no idea where we were going. All I remember was taking the highway.
When we got there, I saw a big sign... Oakwood Collegiate ... "Where da hell are we?" I asked. We started to approach a large grass field with fences along the edges. A group of people were talking in the middle of the field. Then I saw them....all of them. They came in different sizes and their colours were brindle, white, fawn and they all looked like me!...but I was the most handsome of course. I saw boxers! All of them were boxers! We were at a boxer meetup!
"OMG! Thanks Mom and Dad!!!! I'm home again, with my people! Or should I say my canines?!"
"Son, go have fun with the others", and Dad released me into the play area.
I walked slowly towards the massive group of boxers and their owners. I didn't know anyone at first so I approached them with caution. I wonder who the alpha was? Better not piss him/her off. I estimated about 10 boxers were huddled together talking.
"Who's the new guy?" I heard someone say.
"Fresh meat y'all!" And then they all started to sniff me.
"I'm Brix and I'm 2 today."
"I'm Gustavo, but you can call me Gus.Happy bday." He was also a brindle boxer and he was nice to me.
"I'm Zowie, nice to meet you." she said in a tiny voice. She was a cute white puppy. No chance to get wit her tho.
"I'm Leroy." He was a flashy fawn just a little smaller in size than me.
"Yo Brix, I'm Jam." He was also a flashy fawn, solid with a muscular build.
I hung around Leroy, Gus and Jam mainly. They were about my size and age. They were a friendly bunch. We chased each other the whole time. I was at peace and was free of that stupid leash Dad and Mom put on me. We began chatting about old girlfriends like all studs would and I started to talk about how black labs bitches were the hottest when we heard a fight happen.
"I'm warning you right now. DON'T get any closer to me." It was one of the white boxers staring down another boxer. He was the tallest of the group and stood with confidence. His muscles were erect and his head was held high, tail straight up.
I watched from a distance. The two boxers now were about 1 foot away from each other and then they froze, staring each other in the eyes. The place fell silent. Without a word, the two let out deep low growls and instantly were on their hind legs. Both tried to take the other down. No one tried to submit. I darted towards the two, hoping to break the two apart but their owners forcefully broke off the fight.
After that I looked at the owners as they showed disappointment with their boxers' behaviour.
"I'm so sorry, I'll leave." The boxer owner apologized. The stocky boxer and his owner started to leave the field. "It's all right. I don't know what got into him." the other owner said solemnly.
Not long after the tall white boxer and his owner decided to leave too.
"Dad what happened? Why didn't you let me stop them.
"It's none of your business Brix.." Dad replied. Dad tried to explain some more.
"Sometimes dogs don't like everyone. One wrong look and that's all it takes. Let me ask you. Why don't you like Rotti on 52?"
"Uh.....'cause he smells weird? "
"No, cause he showed teeth to me and I run the streets of Murray Wilson."
"See, not everyone is your friend either."
After the meet up I said bye to my new friends. It was awesome and I hope we see each other again. Then as usual, I dozed off in the car, during the ride home. What a great day.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Mom bought me a new jacket for my birthday! She also got a new jacket for herself too, check us out! We are styling! As for Dad, well he gets nothing as usual but the bill. I love my new jacket. It has a detachable hood, it's warm and the best part, it has a pocket on the back. Probably to keep poo bags I guess?
"Brix. You wanna try your new jacket out?" Dad started to put it on me.
"There, now you look like a Stud.". With Dad nodding his head we went on our night walk.
I was so happy and walking without a care, until I smelt him. I tensed up. "No, it can't be Rotti on 52. Something smaller." I thought to myself. I froze in my tracks. Dad didn't have a clue. He was trying to listen with those defective ears of his.
Then I saw him. Jack Russell.
"What you doing in my hood huh? I run these streets if you haven't already heard.." I growled at the puny creature. He looked me right in the eyes.
"Nice girlie jacket. I bet Mommy still chooses your clothes for you? Real studs don't need jackets. Oh but of course, my bad, you're not a real stud. I am. Hahaha!"
BALLISTIC...that's what happened next. No one comes in my hood talking smack like that. I leaped up and down, growling and trying to break free of Dad's hold. Eventually Jack Russell walked away like cowards would. Dad ended our walk short and unbuttoned my new jacket.
"Brix! What da hell? The top jacket button fell. Where is it?"
"Must be made in China." I pushed Dad's patience.
"BRIX! Do you want me to kick you out? 'Cause I can and I will." Then I heard Mom.
"He wrecked his jacket! Brix why do you waste my time and money!" I put on a pretty face for Mom and began to defend myself.
"It wasn't me Mom. I swear, Jack Russell attacked me and I had to defend myself and Dad. You're lucky Dad is a live." So I told a small lie. Big deal because it worked. Mom focused her attention to Dad.
"I told you NOT to put the new jacket on him. Why don't you ever listen to me! What are you going to do now, I can't return it! You get him a new jacket!"
So all in all, in less than an hour, my new jacket has a busted button but it's okay, life will go on. Humans really gotta learn to chill like us dogs.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
That Stud would be me and I'm turing 14 this Thursday. I'm a teen now, with raging hormones. I don't have to listen to Mom and Dad all the time now. I bark when I want, lunge at people I don't like, fart in people faces when they get close. I can make my own decisions in this doggy life of mine 'cause I'm a bad ass teen. I told Mom and Dad I wanted a party, but they denied me. I was pissed! Mainly Dad denied me of my right because he didn't want to "deal" with the hassle. To make it up, Dad said he'd take me to a boxer meet up downtown this weekend. Hopefully I'll meet someone nice! The B-Stud will keep everyone posted.
ANY PET LOVERS LOOKING FOR TWO LABS?
Subject: Seeking Home for 2 Family Dogs- Two gorgeous labs trained
Cookie and Coco
Contact: Katherine email@example.com
We are moving overseas in just 2 weeks. Unfortunately, I have still not been able to find a good home for Cookie and Coco . We ' re not able to take our beloved doggies with us and I ' ve been desperately trying to find a home for both of them ' together ' . They were raised together and pine without each other. The Lab rescue have already said that they would probably separate them, so this is my last resort. Recently I tried to take Coco out in my car alone and she TOTALLY refused to even get into the car without Cookie......!!!! She absolutely pulled back on her haunches until Cookie was by her side.
Both doggies are in great health, have been spayed and have ID chips implanted under the skin.
Cookie turned 3 December 10th and Coco turned 3 April 1st. Cookie is my mellow-yellow, and just loves her tummy rubbed. Coco is adorably funny and lives for her "ball." She also loves the water...... Cookie loves lots of attention. Both doggies are loyal and love to walk. They have been raised with my 3 kids running around all over the place, and have survived Sammy ' s constant hugging and love of ' dress-up ' , so they are fantastic family dogs.. This is by far one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make, but under the circumstances I have no choice.
Please, please forward these pics to all your friends. I want to find a great home for these fabulous doggies. They are just adorable and it ' s heartbreaking to let them go. In a perfect world, I hope that we could find someone local so that we can still keep in touch and visit them. I pray that someone, somewhere can help us keep Cookie and Coco together, and love them just as much as we do. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. firstname.lastname@example.org
Friday, September 25, 2009
Getting In Trouble
Now that Shy is 5, we don't get to see her much anymore. She moved out, wanted her independence, and started living on her own. So I got real excited when she visited us. Dad and Mom were excited too until something real bad happened.
Mom and Dad had gone upstairs and I was on the carpet, bathing in the sun by the window. I was minding my business when....*sniff, sniff*. "Hmmm. I smell something weird," I thought. I turned my head back. Nothing out of the ordinary, so I continued to sun bathe. I sniffed again. "Damn, something is not right." I got up and turned around. "Where's Shy?" and just as I wondered I heard my sister's faint voice.
"Brix, don't tell Dad ok?"
"Don't tell Dad what? And why are you hiding under the table? I can barely see or hear you."
"Shut up! Don't talk so loud. Just don't tell Mom or Dad." Shy said under her breath.
Then I noticed it right in front of me, 6 feet from my paws.
"Ohhhhh ....holy dog crap! You are soooo in trouble!" I laughed.
"Brix you better not tell or I'll tell Mom about your one night stands at the daycare." I quickly stopped laughing.
"Fine, But you're in some deep dog doo doo now. I'm just going to look innocent as usual."
Just then, I heard Dad walking down the stairs. Things got quiet and then Dad entered the room I was in.
"Brix where's......WHAT DA F@#$!!!", Dad screamed. I froze but smirked at the same time.
"SHY!!!!!!!!" Dad stompped into the kitchen to find my sister hiding under the table. Shy jumped out, tail tucked between her ass and ran like the wind!
"5 years old and you still don't know where to pee and poo!?!? We put the paper down and you still pee on the CARPET!" Dad was fuming. I enjoyed every minute of it.
As I watched Dad trying to catch Shy, I looked at the puddle of pee on the white carpet. It shone bright yellow in the sunlight, soaking into the carpet. To my right was Shy's poo, hard as rock and nearly a black colour. Dad finally caught Shy and put her in my kennel, all the time grumbling and mummbling. I had never seen Dad so angry.
"Dad why didn't you just put Shy away before you went upstairs." I asked. "You know she has a pee poo problem. She can only pee and poo at her house."
"Don't get smart with me boy. Do you want me to put you in the kennel too? This doesn't involve you so just sit pretty."
I just kept my muzzle shut and watched Dad clean up the accident. All the while, I said to myself, "good thing it wasn't me, cause my pee would have been 4 times more and my poo, well it's a nice soft kind".
Monday, September 21, 2009
Ok, by now everyone should know, I can't walk past another dog without being all up in their face.
"Hi! How's it going! I like your coat! Wanna play! My name is Brix! Can I HUMP you? Guess you didn't like that, GROOWWWLLL!" What can I say? You have to get past me, if you want to get to Mom and Dad. Well today was interesting because I met a couple of friends but didn't get all up in their grill..
Mom and Dad almost always take me to do their errands. Today was no different except we ended up at PJ's Pets. I made a dash towards the door.
"Look at this guy. He knows where we're going even though it's only our 2nd time here," Dad said to Mom..
"It's my 3rd time now Dad and I can smell the dog treats from here." I replied.
I strutted my stuff when I made my entrance into the building. I sniffed around and said hi to the ladies at the front. They swooned. I'm a celebrity when I walk into the place you know?
"He's so handsome," one of the ladies said and came to rub my chest.
"He's okay." Dad replied.
Ok!?!? Can you be less enthusiastic about me Dad? We continued to the back.
There they were, all three of them. Senegal Parrot, White Chested Amazon Parrot and Monk Parrot. All were sitting or hanging upside down in their own cage. I have never seen a parrot before. They all were green in colour, moved in such strange, jerking ways. Their claws were tiny but sharp enough to break flesh. They moved very fast and with great agility I approached with caution. Monk Parrot seemed very still so I greeted him first.
"Psssst! Monk Parot. Anybody home?" No response. I got closer to his cage.
"Yo! Mr. Monk Parrot. Can you hear me? I won't eat you, I promise." Again no response.
He must have been in deep meditation. So I went to visit Amazon Parrot.
"Amazon Parrot. Are you really from the Amazon?" I asked.
"No kid, I'm from Amazon the website. What do you think. Of course I'm from the Amazon. Now scram!."
Guess no one gave him his crackers for breakfast. I moved to see what Senegal Parrot was doing. Before I even got close to him, he swooped down to greet me.
"Hey Boxer guy. You have to help me" I looked but said nothing. He continued to talk.
"Boxer guy. Get me out of here. Free me from my misery. Just turn that latch there for me. No ones has to know."
I got closer to him, until my muzzle was against his cage. He climbed down, head first and then turned himself around. He spoke again.
"Are you going to help me or not?" I didn't not know what to say. I just stood there like a statue, sniffing his cage.
"You're all the same. Come watch me do my tricks, make kissy noises at me, poke your fingers thru the cage and then leave." Senegal Parrot started to get grumpy. He came even closer to me, his beak nearing my muzzle. I started to jump up and down and into my play bow mode.
Senegal parrot watched and then suddenly bonked my nose with his razor sharp beak..
"Owwww! What was that for!" I yelled at him.
" That's for being an idiot in the store. Have a nice day."
Senegal Parrot 1, Brix 0. Next time Senegal Parrot, next time....watch your tail, 'cause you never know who's watching.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
I remember it clearly. I'm sure most dog owners have wondered, do dogs really remember? Can dogs actually create memories? Take it from me, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed but I know dogs can remember.
The day I graduated from my advanced course, I saw someone. I had not seen her for almost a year. I knew that smell. I knew her voice and her body shape. Emotions quickly filled every inch of my body. I started panting hard, my heart started to race. My butt wiggled so hard it almost fell off. Even though I had not seen her for a while, she will always have a special place in my heart.
"I know you." I said and I darted towards her, jumping up onto her body. My tongue hung out almost touching the floor.
"Hi Brix! I miss you." She didn't say it in those words, but her face told me so.
"Where have you been?" I asked. "I miss the house and the big backyard!"
She didn't answer. She was surprised to see me. My eyes met hers and I hugged her with all my boxer strength. I got up on my hind legs to meet her face so I could lick her over and over again. She hugged me back too and stroked my head.
"You didn't get too much bigger Brix."
"No, you know I had weight issues but I'm good now."
"Your head got bigger though."
"Yeah, because I got smarter. I'm now the smartest of the dummies!"
When I was a small puppy, she took care of me, fed me, chased after me, and taught me about life as a dog. I was raised by her and became a handsome young man. The last time I saw her, I remember seeing tears in her eyes. I didn't understand what was going on. Before I knew it, I found myself in a new environment with so many new smells. That night, I recall, was a stressful one. I refused to eat my dog food. I wanted to know what was was going on. I moved slowly and cautiously in my new surroundings. My head hung low as I sat by the door, waiting. I cried and whimpered all night until I couldn't take anymore and fell asleep. Hoping to wake up from a bad dream, the next morning I found myself in the same place, with the same smells. She was gone.
"Where did she go? Where am I? Who are you? Everything smells different" I paced back and forth.
"Brix, it's ok. I'm going to take care of you now. Trust in me." That was Dad speaking.
"Am I in doggy heaven? 'Cause I kind of expected way more and way better than this." I asked.
"No Brix, we adopted you and this is your new home and family pack."
That was about a year ago today. A lot has changed in one year but much has also stayed the same. One thing that hasn't changed is my love for my first family. I will never forget the times we had. I hope all is well. Good luck because I hear your hands are full with "the ruler of mount olympus" (the 4 legged version).
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I was pretty excited about long weekend. Mom and Dad said camping would be relaxing and I'd meet new friends. I'd never been camping before so I didn't know what to expect. All I remember was...
"C'mon you guys, it's 2pm already. Let's go!" Dad's face was full of frustration.
"Don't yell at me, I was ready since 1pm. It's your brother who's not ready yet." Mom barked back defensively.
"Vince, you ready yet?"
"Yah man, cool your panties will you." Uncle V snapped.
We drove to a place called Bass Lake Provincial Park. Uncle V and Dad started setting up their tents. Mom was setting up her laptop and I watched from my new cozy soft crate.
"You got to be f..ing kidding me. My tent pole broke!" Uncle V fumed.
"Jay, my computer won't start. Come here. It won't turn on." Mom tried pressing the button again.
"Can you NOT see I'm busy putting up the tent," Dad yelled across the campsite.
"Why did you put the tent there. Move it here where there's more room." Mom demanded.
"You told me here would be fine!" Dad fought back.
Gee, camp cranky was in the house that night. I would say camping was almost as relaxing as the time I went to the VET for bloodwork. As they fought I made myself useful by watching for any campsite intruders... barking to let them know who ran the streets of Bass Lake Provincial. What I really wanted to see was if their were some fine female dogs you know what I mean?
The next day, I had two words, SAUSAGE fest. Where did all the bitches go? Are they too girlie for camping? Didn't want to mess up their new do from the grooming spa? Where were they? It was worst than being in one of Dad's engineering classes. All the dogs I met were males. I only made one good friend, chocolate lab Hershey.
"So where you from?" I asked.
"Brantford, home of the great, Wayne Gretzky. How 'bout you?"
"Markham, home of the Chinese people?"
He was the best one from the bunch, never judged me, never growled at me. I also met a whole bunch of others. Sammy the yorkie, shih-tzu mix, he hated me and barked to let me know. Then there was Jake, the black lab who I thought was a girl and got all excited only to sniff out sausage and things went back to normal. Cash, the giant great dane. I nearly wet my fur when I saw the size of this guy and I immediately sat without Dad telling me to. I tried talking to him, but he didn't talk say much. A friendly giant I guess. There was one female, Zoe. She was a hot doberman pinscher and my age too. I was so sure I would score until she said, "...you don't have a chance little boxer. I got a stud already." .
Just my luck again.
By the second day I wanted to go home already. I missed home. I wanted to be where "everybody knows...your name." When we did get home. I collapsed onto my bed and snored the whole night thru, dreaming of better things to come.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Most of us by now know the name Michael Bryant. No not Kobe Bryant, I'm talking about Michael Bryant, former Attorney General of Ontario. He's most famous now for being charged in the death of a cyclist here in Toronto.
You know what else he was most famous for, banning pit bulls in Ontario. I think I hear applause from the audience. The world is a much safer and better place now. Oh wait, my ears are better than many and they tell me it's just the crickets outside my window chirpping.
If you talk to Mom, she's pissed about the pit bull ban. She really likes them. I bet if Mom could talk to Mr. Bryant, she'd say...
"Men like you are a dangerous breed to society." Maybe Mom would do one of her tae-kwondo kicks to his crotch. Naw, Mom's civilized.
Ok, now I'm sure Michael has done some good things in his career, but who cares? We only remember the bad and want to squash him for it. You do 9 out of 10 things good, no one remembers, but they sure remember the one you screwed up on. Like the time I stole salmon from the table. Dad was pissed!
Fine, there are some bad dogs out there but don't blame the dog. What about the owners? Don't they have some responsibility here?
So here are some of the statements he made in his quest to ban pit bulls.
"I am convinced that pit bulls are ticking time bombs. I am convinced that they are inherently dangerous animals." - Michael Bryant
"... experts in Canada or the studies and statistics in the United States which found that pit bulls, in study after study, make up about 1 to 3 percent of the dog population in any given area and pit bulls cause somewhere between 48 and 56 percent of the serious dog incidents ..." - Michael Bryant
"The bull terrier is not captured. It is not a pit bull. Boxers are ugly dogs too [laughter]. I boxed for years, so I can say that and I'm showing it right now. So no, Don Cherry's dog is safe [laughter]. Which means I am too [laughter]." - Michael Bryant
WTF. Someone hold me back. Dad, am I leashed 'cause did I hear that one right? Ok Michael, you already have shamed the Pit Bull Breed, but don't you say sh*t about Boxers now. "...Boxers are ugly dog s too..." Are you kidding me? This guy was the Attorney General of Otnario?
Dad, where does this guy live? I have a deposit I want to make, and I'm not talking about the money green kind. I'm talking about a nice, wet, soft kind. The kind that just stays there and seeps right in. Maybe for added bonus, I'll give him my special beam of liquid yellow laser, leg way up.
So I give you two paws up Michael Bryant, for a job well done. If dogs like us had a ban for people like you, we would definitely have you wear a muzzle. Make sure it's tight.so we can't hear you when you say sh*t about boxers, pit bulls or any other breed or animal in this world.
See those two cuties in the video? It's just another regular occurence of two girls fighting over my attention. They're always competing, this time for the next top kid dog trainer. But I'm still heartbroken over Hannah.
Tungsten, my best friend Canaan dog, called me up yesterday after reading my story yesterday.
"Yo dawg, it's Tungsten. Long time no talk. I've been working on my thesis. Dogs that eat their own feces have a higher risk of getting cancer. (And bad breathe) Wanna hear about it?"
"No (depressed). I'm not smart like you Israeli dogs."
"C'mon, cheer up. Still thinking of Hannah? I wouldn't touch that bitch with a 10ft pole."
"Dawg... she hangs around with fools now in the daycare. What you need is a fine Husky like my baby girl Kona."
"Kona? How da heck did you wit her?"
"You're not the only stud around here you know."
Lucky Tungsten. Long weekend is here and "...I need girl to ride ride ride..." Hopefully I meet some when we go camping. So we'll be offline for 3 days. New posts and pics to come soon..
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday was my exam. The pre-CGN exam if you will. If I passed this exam, I could go for the real CGN and possibly do therapy work. The test wasn't fair and I'll tell you why.
Remember Hannah, the black lab? Oh God, I'm so in love with her. (drooling at the mouth) How I want to sniff her butt again. We dated for a bit...fooled around...she would snuggle beside me in the daycare. One day I returned to the daycare after a 3 month absence to find her playing with .... another BOXER?!?! CLUTCH....arghhh! She dumped my brindle ass.
"What's going on Hannie? What's the meaning of this?" I asked her.
"...Sorry Brixy baby, you just took too long to come back. Besides, you thought I'd wait? Clutch makes me feel happy. Mmmm...look at those muscles on him...he's a real STUD."
Those were her last words and I haven't seen her now for 6 months. But it's all right, yeah, it's ok, you know....I've moved on like any stud would until yesterday.
"This part of the test requires your dog to be able to move past an unfamiliar dog in a calm manner," Ms. Glenny instructed. "Here is our strange dog"
From the corner of the building, there she was, Hannah, her black coat, gleaming in the sun. My heart stopped for a second. Damn, she looked good and she filled out, boy did she fill out. How did you expect me to pass this part?
Me and Dad approached her but I was so excited. I could smell her from where we were. My hormones were raging. I hope no one saw my hard on.
"Dad, let me go. Please! Let me off. I need to sniff her, I need to talk to her....I need her!"
"Hannah, hannie baby. I still love you...I never stopped."
I know she wanted me too. The way she was jumping towards me too. She wants me, I know it.
"She doesn't want you Brix. She jumped up 'cause you jumped up like a fool and she thought you were being a threat. Check the video replay"
"Shut up Dad. You think you know everything? You don't know love Dad."
To state the obvious I failed the test. Ms. Glenny said I improved but I wasn't listening. I would fail the test over and over again just to see Hannah. We ended the class with me receiving my certificate. We headed out to the parking lot but she was gone.
At home, I slipped into my bed, lying down and thinking about her. "I wonder if she'll call..." And then I fell asleep.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Check it out. That's me and my sister in our new crate! Dad says I'm the luckiest dog ever. I get new toys, my teeth get brushed, people pick up after my poo...and the list goes on. This time it's a new crate. You might not notice it but the crate is way too big for me. It was the largest one and the last one.
This crate is the best and here's my review of the Noz to Noz Sof Krate.
1. It has two door openings (front and side). Both are of mesh type material and are zippered.
2. The screen door can roll up and held in place by velcro.
3. It's PORTABLE! It folds up and can be carried easily.
4. Lightweight design.
5. The corners of the crate are reinforced with extra material.
1. Not the best for aggressive dogs or ones that like to chew..
2. Costly, but they all are.
3. Although the box says for indoor/outdoor, it's not suitable for the winter.
A full review will be completed after our camping trip! More pics and vids to come!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Meet Buddy, the shih tzu/ lhaso apso mix. He needs a forever home. If Mom and Dad were looking for another dog, they'd probably would have swiped him by now. But they have me and I'm enough dog for them.
Buddy is about 20 lbs and 3 yrs old. He was found as a stray, recently neutered and microchipped and has all his shots. Free to a loving home. Contact the B-Stud if interested.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
As a boxer dog, one thing we do best, other than farting, is boxing! I like to think I box like Roy Jones Jr. or Ali. Dad tells me my boxing ways get me into trouble.
Yesterday was our 2nd last class. Ms. Glenny says I have improved! But Dad then added I still wasn't ready for the CGN test. Ms. Glenny agreed. During the ride home, I asked Dad:
"Pops, what's the CGN test?"
"CGN is the canine good neighbout test."
"Does that mean I suck and no bitch will ever like me?"
"It means you need to work on your manners. You have some bad manners boy. As for the bitches, I'll choose a good one for you. You like chinese?"
"What? Chinese? Ah c'mon Dad....I don't want no chinese crested bitch..."
"What's wrong with Chinese, you don't like my heritage son?"
Later that night I looked up what the CGN test was all about. It seems like a series of 12 tests to evaluate the dog and owner. It is to demonstrate the confidence and control of dog and owner. I found myself thinking about the others in the class. They said Bosley was ready. What's he got that I don't got huh? He has good greetings. I kind of have good greetings. I like to box and wiggle when I greet new people. Maybe jump up at them occassionally. Bosley sits when he greets a dog. I can do that too, if I wanted to but I'm a socialite. I like to be up in your face, "...hi how's it going. I'm Brix! I'm a brindle boxer. What's your name what's your sign? " Maybe that's why I can't get a girl.
Next week is graduation. I better get to studying. Mom took time off to see me. So I hope I make her proud.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
So far boxer owners have said their pet peeves are:
1. Farting - we let 'em rip and we do it silently too.
2. Drooling - and then stepping in our drool. Yes, we like doing that.
3. Ear flapping - to the point where we wake people up, and then drooling while doing so.
4. Hyperness - we go 100 mph all the time! Oh and get out of the way!
5. Stepping on feet - hey we like to be close to our masters. We like jumping up on people too. Careful kids, we like jumping on you too.
6. Panty Thief - we like sniffing panties, and sometimes we eat them too. Yummm.
7. Disobedience - we listen when we want to, the rest of times, we like doing 1-7.
Check out what others have to say:
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Dad says I'm in the middle, not the best behaved but not the worst either. For the full article click on the link below:
Oscar so naughty, he may become Canadian champ
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Monday, August 24, 2009
GOOD THINGS ABOUT BOXERS
1. Boxers are loyal, needy and crave human companionship. They want to be part of the pack.
2. Boxers are the class clown and will amuse the whole family and friends. (Kidney bean wiggle)
3. Boxers are a medium size dog 22-25in at the withers and weigh from 50-85 lbs.
4. Boxers make good guard dogs and are protective of their family pack.
5. Boxers are known to be good with children and are a sturdy breed.
6. Boxers are a smart breed and can be easily trainable. They are part of the working group.
BAD THINGS ABOUT BOXERS
1. Boxers number one complain, farting! We fart a lot and it stinks!
2. Boxers have sensitive stomachs and can get food allergies.
3. Boxers sometimes have a stubborn streak. For us, it's getting into the car sometimes.
4. Boxers are prone to lumps, cancers and other breed health issues. They live on average 10 years.
5. Boxers leash pull, another common complaint. If not trained properly, we want to get there as fast as we can. It takes 2-3 years before we mentally mature.
6. Boxers, because they are protective, are not the friendliest breed. Proper training and greetings must be established when meeting strangers. After that, they are everybody's friend.
Well that's my small list. Feel free to add or let me know if I'm completely wrong!
Friday, August 21, 2009
"Cool!!!! Can I play with the tornado Dad?"
"Hell no Brix, you will die."
"Is a tornado like another word for dog?"
"It's another word for hide or run as far away from it as you can."
"Then how come we aren't running?"
""Don't try to out smart me boy."
Dad confuses me sometimes. That's an image of what it was like yesterday outside our house. Nothing scary really, just a lot of rain, thunder and lightning. I wasn't even scared like most dogs are. Tornados don't usually hit Toronto or Markham that often so it surprised Mom and Dad. It lasted for about an hour. Me and Dad went down to the basement to check out any damage.
"Damn, we got a leak down here," Dad cursed. I went to check it out.
"Hey Dad, check behind the dryer."
"Crap, look at the pool of water! Great!"
I learned that's what humans call sarcasm. Then Mom came down to have a look.
"Oh no! What the heck. How did the water get in?"
"I don't know ask Mattamy. Jeez, they better do something about this."
We went back up and just relaxed for the rest of night. In the morning we watched the news and saw many of the houses in Vaughn, near the mall, got destroyed. The highway 400 took some damage too. 1 boy was killed by the Tornado as he was camping on a conservation area.
I guess Dad was right, tornados kill. Now that I think back, we were lucky. Imagine we lost our house? Where would we live? What would we do? I guess I could live in my crate. I'd be happy with that but Mom and Dad wouldn't be able to fit inside with me. But that's ok, they'd get their own crate to live in and we'd all be happy again. We don't need a big fancy house!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I know boxers can be ugly, (I'm an expection of course. Everyone knows I'm handsome and a stud.) but damn, my boxer-mix friend on the left is UGLY! Pabst is his name and he's a 4 year old boxer mix. But I'm proud of him 'cause he was crowned the WORLD'S UGLIEST
DOG at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in northern California. It's tough for a boxer to win anything these days. We hardly win best in show, we not the best at agility, and we definitely not good at herding. So kudos to Pabst, the ugliest dog in the world.
"He's ugly, but in a cute way." I hear that all the time.
Now check out ugly dog number 2. It seems chinese crested dogs always get a bad wrap for being ugly. It's like they started off life with a disadvantage already, being ugly. The hairless kind especially. Miss Ellie here won ugliest out of her pedigree. I agree hands down. No question about how ugly she is. Check that tongue out. Tuck it in or it might get caught in something girl. I would definitely not tap that. Uhhhhh.
The closest thing I'd ever win is, THE MOST HANDSOME BOXER EVER, or the SEXIEST LADIES MAN EVER. Too bad no contest for that. If we had the most rotten teeth contest, I'd probably win that too.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
He took me to class today and I had so much fun! I did everything Ms. Glenny told me to except the STAY command. She tricked me! I thought we were playing.
During class I got to demonstrate the FOCUS command with distractions to the WHOLE freaking class. I'm so popular but I'm no teacher's pet or anything you know. Oh, I was so good at it! Then we did emergency drop commands which I aced again. And again, I got to show the class how to dart through the agility tunnel. I'm a prostar....but I got in trouble with the STAY command.
"Brix, what's wrong with you. We do these all the time. The STAY command should be easy." Dad was getting frustrated.
"I wanna play with Ms. Glenny. Look she's running now! She's skipping! She's looking at me to play," I exclaimed.
"Brix, STAY." Dad commanded in a firm tone.
"Oh, a ball, let me have it!" That's my favourite.
"BRIX!!!!!!" Dad was fuming at this point.
"Good everyone, excellent with the stays, except for Brix." Ms. Glenny announced.
"What? We were doing the STAYS. Really?" Oops, oh well Dad will forgive me.
But he didn't. We got home and I had to study the STAY again, working in small increments and little distractions. I swear Dad should have joined the army. He's such a drill Sergeant.
Well, that's my life as a dog. How did yours go?
The unusual part about it, we saw about 6 dogs today, all in less than 30 mins. The accident happened as we were going home down a long stretch of road. I was running with Dad holding my leash, rollerblading behind me. Then, I spotted this small black min pin look a like but he was bigger and fatter. He started barking at me and dashed onto the road. Seeing he wanted to play, I ran closer to him and Dad followed. I think Dad turned his head to check for traffic and what happened next, I don't know.
SPLAT!!!!! Dad was flat on his stomach, hands out in front of him, face first. He must have slid a couple feet.
Dad got up, dusted his jacket, said nothing and kept going. The black min pin thingy stopped barking. That was it.
When we got home. I heard Mom and Dad talking.
"There go my jeans. Ah crap.....look at my knee. It's bloody!"
"What happened?", Mom asked
"All I remember, I was looking back to check for traffic. When I turned back, my rollerblade must have caught something and I fell flat on my stomach. It was like sliding into 2nd base face first."
"I wasn't even pissed until the owner of that black mixed thingy dog just chuckled a little and smiled. He saw the whole f-ing thing. Not even a...are you okay?.....from him. He just walked on. "
"Well people are just like that babe. He saw you got up and you were ok."
"Good thing I was wearing my jacket or else I would have stuck to the road."
I guess we won't be rollerblading for a while until Dad's knee heals. Today is class too. I hope we still go. We haven't seen Ms. Glenny in a while. Keep you guys posted.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
If you look closely, you might be able to see a couple blades of grass stuck between the front teeth. I save those for later when I'm hungry.
One day in the car, Mom noticed how my breath stank the joint up. Then she checked my teeth.
"OMG, have you seen Brix's teeth? They're rotten!"
"Yeah, the vet said no amount of brushing could get the plaque out." Dad replied.
No wonder I can't get a date! I wonder what would happen if I continued to have rotten teeth. Dad already did some research and this is what he keeps telling me. I made a list.
1. My teeth will becomes yellow or brown. That's the plaque. If left untreated, can we say periodontal disease?
2. Gingivitis happens which makes my gums red and inflamed.
3. My gums will receed because the gums are infected and the ligaments around the teeth are gone.
4. The worst case, Dad tells me, I could get kidney, liver and heart disease.
5. Dental cleaning for dogs isn't cheap!
I knew a dog who had 4 teeth and she was all right looking until she smiled. Mom now tries brushing my teeth everyday, each time causing my gums to bleed. I hate brushing. If you guys know of a better to get rid of doggie plaque, please leave a comment! Any whitener for dogs?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Dad usually takes me out in the morning 7am to do my business. One morning we were nearing my pee spot and Rotti on 52 turns the corner with his master. I stared at him and then his master. I stood erect and held my ground. I was actually relaxed and didn't even lunge until Rotti showed his teeth and growled at me.
"Get the f away from my master!" growled the Rotti.
"Then you best back your ass up and tuck your tail between your fat ass," I snapped.
"You better watch yoursl next time lil girl, oh ya...that's right, you're just small for a male"
Oh I could have killed him that day. As soon as I saw the pearly whites I should have attacked but then I realized I would have upset Dad. I just hate Rottweilers. I just do. I'm not racist or anything, they just get on my nerves. I saw him again today at the park where I was squatting and reading the paper. This time he was with his mom and a stroller. I could hear his growling as they got closer
"Come on little boxi girl. Why don't you come and play?"
I actually acted like a gentledog and walked away from him alongside my Dad.
"Awww what wrong? Gonna get in trouble for lunging by Daddy?
I had to give the Rotti a peace of my mind so I lunged with all of my might, hoping I could break the leash or my collar...but Dad intervened and disciplined me.
That's all Dad needed to say and I knew it was over. I shook my body to de-stress. It doesn't help that we are both males and both are protective breeds. In any case, if I see Rottweiler again, he better read the sign outside on our lawn. It says:
"Boxer Barking Only. All Others Will be Towed."
Trust me Rotti, I will tow your ass back to 52.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
"Brix! Let's go!" Dad called from the kitchen.
"Ohhh, I wonder where Dad is taking me this time," I thought.
I turned the corner to see Mom and Dad packing up a cooler, some bags and some other human goodies. No, not another long car ride.
"Arfff! Arfff!", me loves to run.
After an hour in the car we got to a big house in the middle of nowhere. All I could see were miles of green grass and my ticket to freedom. I had so much fun that day. Everyone loved me. They all said I was handsome. I ran like the wind and even tried chasing after a boat in the pool. Life was good until the next day.
Dad fed me my usual morning meal. For a long time I've been trying to tell my Dad,
I didn't like it. I would just stare at the food even though he gave me permission to take it.
"But I don't want this food! No I'm not eating this. You eat it Dad!"
"Brix you better eat that food 'cause it cost me a fortune."
So I ate it like a good doggie. 6 hours later....
I started to lick my lips incessently, gulping mass amounts of air. Mom and Dad were doing errands and I was stuck in my kennel.
"Ne, what's that on the ground?", Dad questioned.
"What? How can that be?"
Dad washed my bed that night but the next day I threw up on it again.
"What the hell Brix! I washed your bed and you vomit again!" Dad fumed.
"I'm sick and you're worried about the bed! Gee thanks for the love and support Dad." I was mad but didn't have the energy to argue with Dad.
Dad fasted me for 24 hours to rest my tummy. I continued to vomit on and off. After each vomit I was my old self again. Dad thinks it was something I ate at the party but he soon smartened up and decided to put me back on my old Wellness Core food.
After a week of not eating my regular amount of food, Mom and Dad decided I had to see the vet. He was a nice man, and I could tell Dad and Mom felt comfortable with him.
"Oh I'm not worried about him. He's definitely not a sick dog. I would say it was just a food intolerance and you are already transitioning him off the old food."
Mom and Dad were relieved. Soon after, I was back to my old self again and not vomiting. I did miss one class but it doesn't matter, 'cause I'm a star in the class! And if I did something wrong, I know it's not my fault 'cause it's always going to be Dad's fault for not teaching me. Ain't that right Dad?
Monday, July 20, 2009
This week they decided my top front teeth needed some cleaning. Problem is, I have an underbite, like all boxers do and they are hidden behind the bottom ones.
"Jay, have you seen Brix's top teeth. They are gross. They look rotten." Mom said.
"No they are not. " Dad replied.
"Look at them. There's brown crap around the teeth and ...eeew...looks like there are hairs between his teeth!"
So Mom and Dad brought out the green toothbrush. It was a two person process. Dad had to lie me on my side, practically sit on me and open my mouth while Mom did the brushing. Do not try this at home. Dad got me to open my mouth while Mom brushed the front.
"Ooooowwww!" I shook hard. My front teeth bled from the first brush. I guess they are in bad shape.
"Hold him down Jay." Mom directed.
"Babe, I think we should stop. It's too much for him. His gums are bleeding."
"No, his teeth are rotten. Do you want his teeth to fall out. Then hold him down."
Wonder who wears the pants in their relationship? Dad continued to pin me down. I struggled, jerked around, tried chewing the toothbrush to pieces but I was trapped. When it was done, I gave a big shake 'cause it was stressful.
Dad said if I didn't continue brushing, it could lead to other serious diseases, not to mention, breaking the bank. Well hopefully my pearly whites won't fall out 'cause I don't think they make dog dentures.
This week is another class at the Campus. Can't want to see the others....will have updates soon.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
"So how's Brix?", Mrs. Glenny asked.
"Oh, he's a great dog but......he's just terrible with other dogs. He goes nuts for them!", Dad complained.
"Yeah, that's a common complaint of Boxer owners."
"Really? I mean, he's a little better when he sees the smaller ones, but if it's a black lab, forget about it."
"Why don't you join our Advanced in the Park class?", Mrs. Glenny offered.
"Oh no Mrs. Glenny, I couldn't".
"Sure you can, we have one spot left. C'mon."
And that's how it all started. I was enjoying my summer vacation, eat shit sleep, when Dad just had to talk to the head instructor. Now it's like I'm going for my Masters, Masters of the Delinquents!
Basically Dad is asking me to be a "gentlemen" and more civilized when I see new dogs. Dad I'm almost 14 now, I'm not a little puppy anymore. You treat me like I can't do anything! Always telling me what to eat, telling me when to sit and when to wait. I hate him. I get no freedom. When I'm 18, I'm moving out!
God... and now he has me in a class with 5 others dogs. You know what we did? We did focusing exercises, walking, and stays. C'mon, I could do those in my sleep with or without dogs. And you know what the worst part of it is, no hot bitches! Again! Arffff. Despite this, I still behaved for Dad and made him look like an angel.
"Brix is doing so well and he's so calm." Those were Mrs. Glenny's exact words.
Sheesh. I make my Dad look so damn good.
Well it's late now but stay tuned for more updates. Ladies, I'm single and on the market. Smell you later.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
The first time Mom brought me to the new house, I didn't know where we were going. I checked out the window but it was dark. Nothing smelled right. Mom opened the door and I walked in, smelling every corner of the house. "Where are we? Where's Shy, and Grandpa and Grandma?" The carpet smelt nice though but I was scared. This must be my 5th time moving to a new place. Going from Meg's house, to the Leungs, to the Parcons, to Sudbury....I'm surprised I'm not screwed up.
The first night we stayed over, I cried and cried. Mom and Dad left me in the kitchen to sleep. I couldn't sleep. I walked up and down the kitchen, whimpering like a baby. My sister Shy would have made fun of me. I think Mom and Dad couldn't sleep either and let me sleep in their room upstairs. Yay!!!! But after that night, they never let me sleep upstairs again.
I think it took about 3 days before I got comfortable. Now I love our house especially where the Bay window is. I can look outside and see all the intruders. I let Dad know everytime. Most of the time I work on my tan 'cause you know, I gotta look good for the ladies. Speaking of ladies, so far I haven't seen anyone worthy to even talk to. So far I've seen a Rotti/ Lab mix. I don't like him, this is my house and ain't nobody gonna show up on my block uninvited. I better mark every pole or sign to let him know. Then there was a little Shiz-Tzu that came running out of her house. "Bo Bo.....come back here!" Screamed their owner. I didn't even give her a glance. Not worth my time. There were other but not even worth mentioning right now.
In the basement Dad made me a play area. He left me there one day when he went to work. Man, I had so much fun! All my toys were there, my water bowl and my 2nd bed. In fact, I had so much fun I destroyed my bed into 1000 pieces. Oh, that was so cool. Then I pushed my crate backwards and found an opening to the rest of the basement. Whoa, so cool! Oh look what's this box doing here? Let's see what's inside. Oh cool! Plastic and paper. I love making little plastic and paper snowflakes. There it looks better when the floor has paper snowflakes. That day I had a little too much water and fun. Good thing Dad laid down some cardboard on the floor. I had to go bad. By the time Dad came home, I was tired. I'm surprised Dad didn't say anything when he saw how much fun I had.
This weekend I think we're going to Sudbury to see Mom. We're going to have so much fun. I love our new place! And just to add, I'm gaining my weight back. I'm starting to become a man but really, I'm a kid clown inside.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Dad put me on plain rice for a bit and then slowly added my regular food. We finally found out if you overfed me, I'd get diarrhea. So after being on a bland diet for a week, I decided yesterday, I wanted something different.
Grandpa Parcon went grocery shopping yesterday and was cooking it up in the kitchen. "Damn that smells good Grandpa!" I said to myself. "Let's check out what he's doing." So I follow my nose into the kitchen. There he was, mixing and stirring a pot by the stove. Behind him was the kitchen island where I find good treats sometimes. I took a look at him. "Hmmm, back turned." I creeped closer to the island counter.
Just like how I stole chicken, I put my paws two front paws on the counter. "Ohhh man. Jackpot! Salmon!" Mom love salmon but this was all mine. Dad suddenly moved, but walked into the living room, back still turned. I pawed the salmon towards my mouth and using that long tongue of mine, gulped 4 pieces. That's right 4 pieces and no one even heard me! I'm such a ninja but when I put my two paws back on the ground, my stupid chain rattled.
"Brix. You in the kitchen?"
"Just getting some water Grandpa."
"Ok. Time to cook the salm....hey! What the...!?!"
Oh the look on his face, it was a kodak moment. I got punished for sure, and curse words started flying. I could even hear Grandpas heartbeat get faster. But it was worth it, the salmon was so good. Why do humans eat so well? Then Dad come home 2 hrs later....
"Hey why is Brix in his cage."
"You son took my salmon. 4 pieces!"
Dad's face was classic too.
"Brix, you think you're a ninja? What 'till you move into our new house...no food for you!"
"Sure Dad, like I believe you. Actually I do, you can't cook."
That one hurt Dad and that night he didn't give me my full amount of food. That's another adventure in the life of a stud. It's good being a dog.