B-Stud here again.
Most of us by now know the name Michael Bryant. No not Kobe Bryant, I'm talking about Michael Bryant, former Attorney General of Ontario. He's most famous now for being charged in the death of a cyclist here in Toronto.
You know what else he was most famous for, banning pit bulls in Ontario. I think I hear applause from the audience. The world is a much safer and better place now. Oh wait, my ears are better than many and they tell me it's just the crickets outside my window chirpping.
If you talk to Mom, she's pissed about the pit bull ban. She really likes them. I bet if Mom could talk to Mr. Bryant, she'd say...
"Men like you are a dangerous breed to society." Maybe Mom would do one of her tae-kwondo kicks to his crotch. Naw, Mom's civilized.
Ok, now I'm sure Michael has done some good things in his career, but who cares? We only remember the bad and want to squash him for it. You do 9 out of 10 things good, no one remembers, but they sure remember the one you screwed up on. Like the time I stole salmon from the table. Dad was pissed!
Fine, there are some bad dogs out there but don't blame the dog. What about the owners? Don't they have some responsibility here?
So here are some of the statements he made in his quest to ban pit bulls.
"I am convinced that pit bulls are ticking time bombs. I am convinced that they are inherently dangerous animals." - Michael Bryant
"... experts in Canada or the studies and statistics in the United States which found that pit bulls, in study after study, make up about 1 to 3 percent of the dog population in any given area and pit bulls cause somewhere between 48 and 56 percent of the serious dog incidents ..." - Michael Bryant
"The bull terrier is not captured. It is not a pit bull. Boxers are ugly dogs too [laughter]. I boxed for years, so I can say that and I'm showing it right now. So no, Don Cherry's dog is safe [laughter]. Which means I am too [laughter]." - Michael Bryant
WTF. Someone hold me back. Dad, am I leashed 'cause did I hear that one right? Ok Michael, you already have shamed the Pit Bull Breed, but don't you say sh*t about Boxers now. "...Boxers are ugly dog s too..." Are you kidding me? This guy was the Attorney General of Otnario?
Dad, where does this guy live? I have a deposit I want to make, and I'm not talking about the money green kind. I'm talking about a nice, wet, soft kind. The kind that just stays there and seeps right in. Maybe for added bonus, I'll give him my special beam of liquid yellow laser, leg way up.
So I give you two paws up Michael Bryant, for a job well done. If dogs like us had a ban for people like you, we would definitely have you wear a muzzle. Make sure it's tight.so we can't hear you when you say sh*t about boxers, pit bulls or any other breed or animal in this world.