So this weekend I had lots of time to think about life, and how hard it is being the B-Stud. No dates this weekend. Sucks. I couldn't even get a number. Am I losing my touch? Hell no, I'm the B-Stud, I was just trapped at home for most of the time.
Dad and mom had a wedding to go to and left me and my sister in our rooms.
"What are we going to do sis?"
"Shut up, I'm sleeping."
"C'mon, we're going to be here for like 10 hours."
"Don't bother me. If you say another word, I'm going to go all min-pin on you."
"Fine, be a loner for the rest of your life."
So I thought of ways to break out of my room. The top is open, but I can't jumped out. I'm athletic, but not to the point I'm going to break my legs. Plus, I would be making too much noise. My room is shared with Shy, but she's sleeping in her bed. Our door was being blocked by a chair and wasn't locked. I could push it open along with the chair but how would I close it back? Think B-stud, think.
All night I thought about this puzzle. In the middle of the night my sister sometimes walks and talks in her sleep. She walked and slipped in my bed.
"...this bed is nicer....Mr. Poodle....you're such a stud....I like your nice white curly coat....*sigh*...zzzz"
My ears perked up. Hey! What the? This is incest I thought, so I moved into her bed, which is way smaller! Her bed was being blocked by a foldable picture frame room divider. Perfect!
At the end I pushed on one of the folds. It started to move. I pushed a little more making sure not to make it fall. I could see the sofa now. I had done it. I sneaked out. Free at last! Whoo hoo. Now what?
I saw Auntie B. Hey Auntie B, I'm out and you ain't going to stop me, just like last time when I stole chicken from you. She went to get Dad. Dad came down, but he wasn't mad, he was more puzzled. He looked at the front door to my room.
"How did you get out? Ohhh, you think you're smart huh."
Damn right I'm smart. I didn't beat out everyone in the rally course just by chance you know. Dad was amazed, and genuinely impressed but he still but me back in my bed and this time made sure the foldable picture frame room divider wouldn't open at the end again.
Mission accomplished. It just shows how smart us dogs really are. Or does it show how dumb humans really think we are. You be the judge.
B-Stud.
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