Good News, Bad News

To my fans, life has been confusing the last couple of weeks. Sometimes I stay with the Parcon pack, sometimes it's the Leung pack, and sometimes we drive a really long time to see Mom in a place called Sudbury. Everything is constantly changing but I'm doing all right. Sometimes I whine a bit but it's just a little one.

This week, for the first time, Mom came back in the same car as us. I normally see her from the back window waving bye but this time she sat in the front seat. Dad said she will be home with us for the next month. Yay! I get to spend x'mas with Mom! I had a good weekend with her 'cause she took me to Bell Park and I met lots of new doggie friends. I didn't like all of them but I find most don't like how I play. I bounce up and down a lot. Even my sister Shy gave me a bite on my nose to tell me I was being stupid. I'm a boxer, that's what I do.

So that's the good news. The bad news, I think Grandpa isn't feeling well. He use to take me out to walk all the time, and give me scraps (good scraps) from the table. The last time I saw him, he took me for a walk and then we moved to the Parcon pack. The next time I saw him, he was different. He moved a lot slower, and looked a lot thinner. Maybe he's on a diet I thought but he wasn't as excited to see me like before. I still wiggled my kidney bean body for him, but he couldn't bend down and hug me.

I saw him a couple times after and he finally played with me a bit but this week, he look depressed again. I think something serious is going on but Dad or Mom didn't tell me. Too bad my English isn't good, all I heard was specialist and I don't know what that means. Dad just tells me to be happy and cheer grandpa up. I hope I can help him be happy. I'm no therapy dog but I'll try.

That's it for now. Oh, I found a new girl in town, her name is Hannah and she's black. Yeah, I'm trying to hook up with this lab but we'll see. I hope I see her at the daycare again. She wasn't there last time. Anyway, B-Stud out.

My Dog Eats Snow

Woof woof! I don't know why Dad doesn't like snow. I look at him and he puts on 4 jackets, and covers his head with a hood. He also puts these things on his hands that make his hands look bigger than they realy are. He says they're gloves. Look at me, I only have one jacket and I'm loving it. I don't even have boots Mom, and I'm running wild in the snow. Wheeee! C'mon Shy let's play. I'll chase you and then you can chase me. "Get away from me Brix, you're disgusting."

Not much happened this week except for the white stuff called snow. It kind of tastes like water, but it's in a white form. I love sniffing it, licking it, and eating it. It's great....it's like there's a supply of water that I can just lick up anytime. I love eating snow. does anyone else love it?

Dad called the vet this week. He says I'm going to see the doc in January. He also said my weight should be 55 lbs. That's what I was in July. I'm 52-54 lbs now thanks to Dad , who didn't know how much to feed me. Why did you think I begged so much? Maybe 'cause I was soooo hungry. Duh. I have to get shots too. I'm going to freak out.

I'll keep this one short. I'm going to sleep now, life is hard as a dog you know.

B-Stud

How the recall saved my dog

Another weekend gone and Christmas is soon approaching. It will be my first xmas with my new pack. It will also be my first "real" winter. I can't remember what winter was like last year. I was just a young pup.

This weekend was uneventful. It rained all Saturday and Dad still made be pee and poo outside. Shy gets to poo inside why can't I? I swear she gets treated like a Princess sometimes. She gets her ass wiped every time she does her business. Me....I have to lick my own privates for them to be clean. I didn't even get to walk but I got to see auntie Edilyn and uncle Ron. They got me a new portable water bowl! I can use it on our walks in the summer. Thanks guys.

Today what I really wanted to talk about was how bad I was on Friday night. I know Dad always tells his friend how the recall could save your dog and he always tells the story of how Shy ran off. The first thing I ever learned from Dad was the recall and on Friday I understood how important it was.

At about 10 o'clock in the night Dad always takes me out to make brownies. In other words, go take a crap. We always go to the same spot, in between the houses where I am out of sight. Dad was cleaning up after my business when I smelt a person near by. I started walking back towards the driveway. I wonder if it's my friend. Or is it someone trying to attack me and Dad. I better find out. So I got to the driveway when Dad tried getting my attention.

"Brix that's far enough."

I think that's what he said but out of the corner of my eye there was a person. Oh, who's that, she could be a two legged hottie! Oh I'm going to so sniff her up. She was about 5 houses down from where I was. I started to walk towards this strange person. I got to the road and started trotting down the middle, my leash dragging behind. With each stride, I got closer and closer to her. I trotted like a stallion making sure each stride was perfect, showing off my muscular body. I got to about 15 feet from her when...

*clap, clap*
"Brix! Come!"

Holy crap! I forgot about Dad. Shoot he must have caught me trying to sniff hot girls again. Almost like when two legged parents catch their two legged kid with porno mags under their bed. I saw it in a movie one time. Anyway I darted back towards Dad and I ran fast so I wouldn't get into as much trouble from Dad. Surprisingly Dad did not get mad when I got to him. That's what I like about Dad, he never gets mad at me for coming to him. He just took my leash and we walked back into the house.

Later on Dad told me how dangerous it was to leave him.

"You could have been hit by a car. Your sister almost died because she walked through an intersection. "
"I know Dad."
"You're lucky we trained your recall well. The recall can save your life."
"The recall can save your life. I know Dad, you tell all your friends, dog owners, and dog clients about the importance of the recall."
"Remember the time, when I opened the door to the car and you leaped out. You chased a black cat across the street onto the neighbours lawn. That is the reason why I wanted you to learn the importance of the recall."
"Okay Dad, are we done here. I need to get back to my dawgs."

Sheesh, he's such a lecturer. Hey everyone in their teens did something stupid. Me included. It's a part of growing up. When I look back at the incident, yeah I was dumb but what's worse is, I didn't get the number to the hot girl! Damn. I've been on a single streak forever now. I'm going to be a bachelor for the rest of my doggie days! Grooowwwwl.

B-Stud.

Min-pin gets sexually harassed

I could not take it anymore yesterday. I had to post how I was sexually harassed. My brother Brix didn't even help or protect me. And they say Boxers are protective...whatever! I wonder if the daycare has a sexual harassment policy.

Brix and I went to the doggie daycare. Dad felt it was too cold to walk us. I don't care for the daycare that much. Most of the dogs are a bunch of ol' smelly, macho, loud mouths anyway. None of which are good enough to talk to me. I usually hang around in the corner under the table, minding my own business.

Dad let us onto the daycare floor. Brix said hi to all his friends. He thinks he's so cool but he's not. He plays like an idiot. I walked in and was swamped by several dogs. After a second they all left me alone like they usually do 'cause they know I'm not in the mood to play with them. Only one hung around. Mack, the yellow lab. He was 4 times as big as me, and was obsessed with me. He stalked me all around the daycare.

"Leave me alone or I'm going to bite!"

"Hey girl, I ain't trouble. It's just a sniff I promise. You looking good though. Mmm mmm."

"Pervert! Stay away!"

I hide under the small table. He couldn't come close since the table was only 2 feet tall but he managed to stick his head and body in. God, he kept sniffing and sniffing my ass. He put his dirty paws on my back too. I didn't cry. I gave him a growl and showed my pearly whites. He kept coming. He dug his nose right in my butt and was forceful. The daycare worker put Mack in time out.

"Brix! Brix! Come and get this disgusting yellow lab off me. Brix!?!?"

He was busy playing. Idiot. Mack then came back onto the floor. "Sexual harrassment!" I screamed as Mack laid his nose in my rear again. He shoved it right in there. Then Dad came to help as he kept Mack away and put me in a separate room. Through the window I could see Mack was still trying to look for me as he circled around the room.

"Where'd you go Shy. You know I love you! Come back please. I need you."

Thank goodness his parents came to pick him up and I breathed a sigh of relief. No more harassing. Dad put me back into the daycare floor and I gave Brix a slap on the head.

"You fool, you didn't even protect me from Mack."

"Hey, he likes you, and you need friends sis."

"He was harassing me and sticking his nose up my ass!"

"Ass is good. He wants to find out more about you. Get use to it."

"He was stalking me and I kept giving him the warning signals but he kept forcing his nose up there."

"Sis, relax. that's what use socialites do. We sniff to find out where you stand in the pack."

"You're no help, I don't even know why Dad wanted you. He's not you're real father, you're adopted!"

We finally got home and I slept on Brix's bed the whole night while Brix had to sleep in my small one. Serves him right for not protecting his sister!

Shy.

Boxer Dog Escapes

So this weekend I had lots of time to think about life, and how hard it is being the B-Stud. No dates this weekend. Sucks. I couldn't even get a number. Am I losing my touch? Hell no, I'm the B-Stud, I was just trapped at home for most of the time.

Dad and mom had a wedding to go to and left me and my sister in our rooms.

"What are we going to do sis?"
"Shut up, I'm sleeping."
"C'mon, we're going to be here for like 10 hours."
"Don't bother me. If you say another word, I'm going to go all min-pin on you."
"Fine, be a loner for the rest of your life."

So I thought of ways to break out of my room. The top is open, but I can't jumped out. I'm athletic, but not to the point I'm going to break my legs. Plus, I would be making too much noise. My room is shared with Shy, but she's sleeping in her bed. Our door was being blocked by a chair and wasn't locked. I could push it open along with the chair but how would I close it back? Think B-stud, think.

All night I thought about this puzzle. In the middle of the night my sister sometimes walks and talks in her sleep. She walked and slipped in my bed.

"...this bed is nicer....Mr. Poodle....you're such a stud....I like your nice white curly coat....*sigh*...zzzz"

My ears perked up. Hey! What the? This is incest I thought, so I moved into her bed, which is way smaller! Her bed was being blocked by a foldable picture frame room divider. Perfect!
At the end I pushed on one of the folds. It started to move. I pushed a little more making sure not to make it fall. I could see the sofa now. I had done it. I sneaked out. Free at last! Whoo hoo. Now what?

I saw Auntie B. Hey Auntie B, I'm out and you ain't going to stop me, just like last time when I stole chicken from you. She went to get Dad. Dad came down, but he wasn't mad, he was more puzzled. He looked at the front door to my room.

"How did you get out? Ohhh, you think you're smart huh."

Damn right I'm smart. I didn't beat out everyone in the rally course just by chance you know. Dad was amazed, and genuinely impressed but he still but me back in my bed and this time made sure the foldable picture frame room divider wouldn't open at the end again.

Mission accomplished. It just shows how smart us dogs really are. Or does it show how dumb humans really think we are. You be the judge.

B-Stud.

Stealing Chicken

Hey pups,

It's been a while since I have written to my fans. Grandad has been at the hospital and I have been moving from pack to pack. We are staying with the Parcon pack for now while Grandad recovers. I haven't seen Grandad for a week. When can we go for a walk again?

Life in the Parcon pack is different. I get to see my sister all the time now! She tried sniffing my ear yesterday. I think she has a fetish for ears. I've learned from her that when someone opens the storm door, we need to bark as loud and as crazy as we can. Her hearing is better than mine, but I got the bigger bark. She also steals my big bed all the time. I have to snuggle into her small bed and I can't get any sleep. It's ok, sis, I steal your water so you will be dehydrated for the day. Revenge is a bitch isn't it? I have also learned, as long as my sister goes up the stairs first, I can follow her but then we both got punished by Dad. I made too much noise going up the stairs. I wasn't as stealth as my sister. Hey, I'm a big guy!

Shy and I were so bored yesterday. Sis, slept the whole day but I needed to do something mischievious. Only auntie B was there to look after us. As soon as she went up the stairs, I put my plan into action. I had 5 mins. In the kitchen there was chikcen. I smelt it from my bed. It was on the center table. WIth my Boxer skill, I climbed up on two legs, paws on the table. With one paw I grabed a chicken breast, and munched it down. With the other paw, I grabbed a second breast. This is G-rated by the way. Mission accomplished. No one would ever suspect a thing. Auntie B came down and panicked.

"Where'd the chicken go? Oh my gosh, Brix must have ate it! I better call Jason"
"Hello Jason? I think Brix ate the chicken. Ya, it was on the table."
"What? Were there any bones?"
"No, it was chicken breast."
"Oh auntie, he'll live. As long as there were no bones. But he's in big trouble when I get back!"

Dad came back mad. I had already forgotten what I did. "You stole chicken huh. Don't you worry, you're going to feel it tomorrow," Dad scolded me. I didn't really know what he meant but I understood this morning. I had diarrhea to kill! Oh my stomach didn't feel good. "I told you." Ok, Dad, you know best, I was wrong.

So today I get to see my friends at the daycare. I think Savannah officially dumped me so for all the lovely bitches out there, B-Stud is on the market and is shopping around. Call me.

B-Stud.