Pet Fest

B-Stud is back writing again.  I've been watching the olympics with Dad every night.  I wonder if they have a dog olympics?  I think they should.  I could win at something, world's smelliest farts maybe?  Sometimes Dad scares me.  "SCORES!!!!!!!! Take that...in your face!!!!!!! Go Canada!"  But I laughed at him when my Americans won 5-3.  "Arrrrfffff, in your face Dad!"

We went to Pet Fest a while back.  My sister Min Pin Shy came a long for the ride.  She behaved well for someone who doesn't get out of the house much.  She even got her nails done.  Me on the other hand....well, you know me, less than upper class let's just say.

I think I scared off a sheltie, she totally did a back flip and probably started crying when I tried to talk to her.  She was hot too.  Maybe she saw how rotten my teeth were?  I don't know.  Then I tried to talk to a Rottie and he snapped at me so I growled.  I saw a golden playing with his master and I tried to jump into the action with them. 

"Hey Goldie, let's play!."

"Bounce loser.  Boxer's not allowed."

"Didn't like you anyway Goldie. Snob"

Then I tried mixing in with the great Danes.

"How you doing black beauty?  What's your name what's your sign?"

"Piss off little man."

"How bout you pretty white thang?  Can I roll with you?"

"Sorry, I don't date Boxers."

Geez, am I socially inept?  So I figured I'd talk to my own kind, other boxers.  For sure they would understand me.

"Yo, what's up my boxer brother, from a different mother!"

"Do I know you?"

"Hell yeah, I'm the B-Stud!  I see some fine bitches today you know what I'm saying?"

"Who?  You're a...bastard?"

"No I'm the B-Stud!  You heard?"

"Thankfully for me, no I haven't heard and why do you talk like that?"

"Talk like what?"

"Like, you know, Snoop Dogg or seomthing?. Anyway, I think I hear my master calling."

The only canines I talked to the whole day were the small, little toy ones.  They didn't mind me talking to them.  At the end of the day, Dad let me in on a secret while driving home.

"You know why you can't get a long with others?"

"I get a long with others fine. What chu talkin bout?"

"Ya if you think growling is having a conversation."

"Fine, why? I've been to socialization and daycare classes."

"You stare!  You stare like everyone you see is naked.  And ur tongue hangs out."

"No I don't"

"Dogs that are about your size are at the same eye level as you.  So you stare and you become a statue.  You stiffen up."

"So?"

"So, they don't know what the heck you're doing, or what you're up to.  The little ones don't have a problem with you because you have to lower your head causing you gaze to go down."

"And?"

"And, that's why when I say FOCUS, or DOWN, I'm trying to break your gaze or get you to calm down."

Dad had a point, but...but.....then Dad broke my train of thought.

"Brix, it's like if I were at a party full of guests...and at that party there was a salad bar   I like salad so I go get some brocolli 'cause it's my favourite, and I start to double dip.  And then I start to chat with the wife of one of our guest, with green brocolli all up in my teeth.  That's not even the worst part.  And then all of a sudden I start trying to dance with her by putting my arms around her, and then somehow my hand touched her bum bum, and then she starts to scream and yell, causing her husband to come and beat the living crap out of me...."

"I dno't get it."

"You got rough social skills boy!  That's what I'm trying to say!"

"So it's your fault, 'cause you didn't teach me?"

"Ughhhh boy, you're so difficult." 

I still win!

B-Stud.

   

Intruder in our House

Yesterday night Dad and I drove home from my grandparents house.  We had dinner there since Chinese New Years is coming soon.  That's what Dad tells me.  I don't know anything about being Chinese.  Like I said before, I'm an American boxer.  All I know is this is not the year of the DOG.  Sucks, he says it's the year of the TIGER.  I'm kind of like a tiger, my brindle skin looks like a tiger.  I could pass for a tiger right?

Anyway, that isn't the point. The point is, I sensed a little fear in Dad when we pulled up to the front of our house.  As we pulled up to the front of our house, Dad noticed the lights were on inside.  I saw the lights too and stood up in the back of the car to check it out.

"Hmmm...why are the lights on?  Did I forget to turn off the lights this morning when I left?  But the stairway lights are on too." Dad thought to himself.
"Maybe my brother is inside looking for tools?  He has a spare key to the house but he would have called me."  Dad continued to contemplate.

I saw Dad get out of the car.  I remained in the back.  Now all the lights were turned off and the inside of the house was dark.  Dad pressed his head on the front door to check.  He saw nothing and hurried to the back door to try and catch the intruder from escaping from the back of the house.  Soon after he came back.  He checked the doors and they were both locked.

"What the frig.  Am I going crazy?  I could have sworn I saw the living room and stairway lights on.  Now they are off."
"There's someone in the house and I know it.  They're hiding.  I could have also sworn I saw a hand in the window." Dad came back to the car.
"Brix, there's someone in the house.  If you are going to live up to the boxer breed, now's the time and sick 'em."

I got out of the car and immediately sniffed the front walkway.  Dad opened the door.  I darted inside and did a walk around the house.  Dad checked if anything was stolen.  Everything seemed to be in place.  I continued for a second round, sniffing for the intruders.  Someone was in the house all right because the stench said it all.  I stopped at the bottom of the stairs looking up.

"Dad they're up there!" I whispered.
"What's that boy.  Where, up there?"
"Oh, and just to let you know Dad, the intruder is a she."
"What!?!?"

I started to wag my tail because I knew the smell and I knew who it was.  And then I saw her at the top of the stairs even though it was dark.

"Mom!  What are you doing here?  You surprised us and gave Dad a near heart attack."
"Hi Brix! Momma's home!"
"Why didn't you call?  I thought we had a home invasion."  Dad said.
"I wanted to scare you guys but I decided not to."  Mom replied.

It was a good night.  Mom was back and we all huddled around the TV like we use to.  Dad and Mom sat on their couch and I laid in front of their feet.  I was excited and happy, my tailed wagged all night and then Mom told me something.

"Saturday Brix.  We're going to pet fest but you better be on your best behaviour."

Cool!  I can't wait.  It's going to be a good family weekend!

B-Stud.