Let me guess, you guys thought I died of anorexia after I continued to lose weight. Or did you think I became a hermit after not seeing any blogs for over 2 months. Maybe you thought I was in the hospital, with the grim diagnosis of cancer? Blame it on DAD! The cheapo couldn't afford internet so I couldn't write any blogs!
But today, we went to the Parcon pack and I snuck in some internet time. I never stopped thinking of my fans. So for my fans, here's a long waited update with my life.
1. We moved into our house. It's cool 'cause now I get to protect it. "Who's house is it...it's B's house!"
2. Still no girlfriend. Can't score with the bitches in our hood. They're too old and I'm no MILF.
3. Lots of people I don't like in our area. Rotti on 52. You're a punk, you know I can take you on any day. Ya you keep on walking. Labs 1,2....n, this is my hood. Don't let me catch you walking on my turf. Mattamy guys in orange, I respect that you built our house, but that's about it.
4. I'm getting heavier. I'm at about 55lbs now and I'm ripped. Wanna see?
5. For some reason Mom is living with us now. Maybe Mom and Dad made up and now live together. No more long road trips to Sudbury anymore, thank goodness.
Now that Mom is home, I wiggle my butt a little more. She makes me happy. I get to sleep in her lap too. I don't even think she minds me farting all the time. But I know deep down something is wrong with Mom. It's canine intuition. I can't figure it out but I know, what ever it is, she can pull through it. She's my mom, she can do anything.
Dad? He's the same, always lecturing me, always trying to teach me right from wrong. He's a tough guy sometimes. He's under a lot of stress. I don't know from what but he should take it from me, and live like a dog. Eat, shit, sleep.
I hear Mom and Dad are planning to take me to Woofstock. Maybe I'll meet a girl there. Or maybe I'll be such a bully no one will want to be with me. It's not bullying, I just like being the alpha, but really....deep down I'm insecure about myself. Ya I said it, I have low self esteem sometimes. I want to be the alpha but not confident enough in myself. I want to be like Kudos, but I could never command the attention from the other dogs. I have to act a fool before I get attention. But it's ok, I can play the clown part just fine. After Woofstock, they want to take me to Barkham too. It's gonna be fun!
This weekend the Ocampo pack came to visit us. They have 3 little children, the youngest being 6. I had fun with them. At first, I didn't like them. Dad had to calm me down a couple times. But after that we had fun and they all started to come pet me and talk to me. I didn't even have to act like a clown for them to notice me. I think Sydney, the middle one, had the most fun. We chased each other around the house. The youngest one, Maddie, she like touching my belly. I think she might have even touched my penis. I know Sydney touched it cause she made giggling noises. "Eww..... it's a wet. Don't Maddie, don't touch it!" Taylor, the eldest boy, didn't touch my penis but talked to me a bit. I think he wanted to play video games more. It's all Mom's fault, she showed the girls my schlong.
So all is well with the B-Stud as I continue to watch out for my family. We are lucky. Mom and Dad do the best they can with what they have. In return, I try to give them what I can too.